Random Cat Tales

Current Music = Who’s gonna find me by The Coral

One of the hazards of wearing a bright yellow hi-vis jacket at pretty much all times whilst travelling is that people, especially little old ladies of the tea and biscuit variety, always assume you are either a policeman or some sort of official based upon whichever mode of transport I am currently travelling on. So, tonight, I was obviously a train official. Said little old lady (straight from a Campbells soup advert, tarten skirt, blue rinse perm, and the conservative attitude of a right wing American anti abortionist) walks up and demands to know how much the car park costs at the station, and that it was ridiculous that someone such as herself would have to pay £4.50 when they are merely travelling into Birmingham for an evening. I tried to point out that wearing a yellow jacket doesn’t automatically allow me to comment on the price of car parks, in the same way I don’t have carte blanche to arrest someone should I see them robbing a bank, but she was having none of it. I was half tempted to charge her a tenner and says she could leave it there all month, but sanity prevailed and I directed her to the ticket kiosk. She then decided to give the ticket bloke a load of shit as he had FAILED to make it known that all people wearing yellow hi-vis jackets on his station were not railroad employees!!!

Anyway, the train arrived and, to add to the fun as I reached up to put my bag away, the voice of Porky Pig suddenly starts shouting out “it’s ringing, it’s ringing, the fucking phone is ringing”…repeatedly and very loud, as I had hit the button to play the ringtones. Obviously I did the same thing as everyone else which was look around and tut at some kid who was asleep on the chair in the corner. Luckily I was able to switch the phone off with my other hand..Oh well, he was asleep, it’s not gonna change his life!

Current Tune = Close to the Edge by Yes

Last night I bought ANOTHER new laptop bag, the old one having given up the ghost a couple of days ago. The strap went SPROING!!. One of the girls at work had asked me to look at her laptop (Proffit, get your mind out of the gutter…you too Kendrick), and had brought it to work in a body shop bag. Well, after a couple of days with lots of sniggers, I ended up giving her my old one so at least it’s sort of protected. The new one cost £29.95 from Currys and as well as a bag, I got a mouse, a memory stick and 10 CDR’s. Not bad for £30 all in!

I am feeling more than a little dodgy this morning as I had a bit of a day yesterday and then spent the night in the pub chatting to the waitress and staring at her bum….well..it’s a nice bum 

I will go home. Feed the urban terrorist known as Nobbycat, and sleep. Tomorrow is another day. You never know what it will bring, and each day is interesting and fun. To be honest, I LOVE my job. Everyday I am faced with different problems and things that need solving. Hopefully it will remain that. Nothing would be worse than a day in day out grind of a job. Christ I would need 20 pints a day.lol

We are currently arriving at Crewe. People who have read this previously will know my opinion of Crewe. Flatulent little town with bugger all going for it. You can even see, as you arrive at the station, that there are not even any fireworks. Obviously they have already stolen all the cars they can find in order to burn them before Guy Fawkes night actually arrived!.

Current Tune = Woman from Tokyo by Deep Purple

One of the things about writing crap whilst you are on the train, is the topics you get to cover. It makes me wonder how journalists manage to carry themselves through the day. How the hell do you get another interesting slant of the fact that Mr Bodrum has managed to grow a cucumber 4 feet long without asking why Mrs Bodrum has a huge smile on her face? The sarcasm that is so inbuilt within my nature would come to the front. “So Mrs Bodrum, what was your first thought when your husband showed it to you in all it’s glory?” “Tell me Mrs Bodrum, what were you planning on doing with this giant thing” “Mrs Bodrum, were you planning on any other large vegetables?”

See what I mean. The amount of stuff you can get into the smallest story, God help me if I ever got something I could really get my teeth into?

Current Music = Alice’s Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie

Have just got home. Fireworks and bonfires are everywhere in Manchester. I was expecting Nobby to be hiding under the sofa, but no, he is sat on the window sill watching the bonfire across the road and trying to catch the sparkles from the rockets going up into the sky. He seems incredibly disappointed when they don’t come all the way down so he can play with them……My cat is mad!!

Angus , the yappy white fur bundle with one eye, from next door, is going apeshit. He is a yappy dog at the best of times, but when there are bangs going off outside his door it sends him mental. Nobby just looks at him like he is the weirdo on the bus!

Current Tune = Sex on Fire by The Kings of Leon.

So America has a black President? As one of my friends put it earlier today

“congratulations and well done on electing a young, charismatic president who seems dedicated to delivering change and progressing social justice.

Please try not to shoot this one”

I can’t help feeling a teensy tiny bit worried however. Mind you, if they had elected the other crowd things would have been SOOOOOO much worse!

Current Tune = Motorcycle Emptiness by The Manic Street Preachers.

Nobs is now bored with the fireworks and has npw decided tht playing with my feet holds a better entertainment value. He is currently lying at the end of the bed, and is waiting until I move a toe, and then biting it. …..my cat is mad!